A Year in the Making

Life takes its turns. We all give what we can and find happiness where it my be. I am enjoying my first cup of coffee this fine cold morning of December 31, 2008 and I am thinking about my year. How so many things can change in a moment and over the course of a year one can change substantially.

I have done many things this year. I have found myself a more diverse and powerful woman then I was at the close of 2007. I have discovered that love is something I cannot do without, passion is essential, and my emotional well being is paramount to the needs of others. Some of these things perhaps are not revelations to you, but for me they are keystones of this year.

I am at the core of my being a lover and as such I am in need of romance. I have come to realize over the course of this year a few things about me and romance; that I am deeply sad without it, there are few men who understand it, and that making it a part of my daily life is hard. With understanding comes change no matter how slow. Therefore, 2009 will be the year of romance.

I was on the course of becoming more adventurous and more diverse in my hobbies before this year, but I was kicked into fifth gear when I found myself friends with a few men who pushed my limits. (As always there are many people who have touched me over the year, but these men take center stage.) Growing is hard, harder still is doing it with others. All of these men in turn took delight in my strange affection for hiking, eating and cooking, climbing, movies, scotch, and coffee. One even taught me how to play a video game.

One pushed me when it came to expressing my emotions, climbing, communication about safety for the express purpose of not dying a grim and broken death (mine or his), and a new view on an old world. He also opened my existence to better understanding myself and those around me, allowed me to cry on his shoulder, and gave me quarter about many things and occasions.

One who let me go to become a different person. His presence in my year made things more challenging than I could have ever imagined, it was worth every moment. He alternately gave me room to breath and pressed to understand better who I was. In the process of all this pressure I became stronger and he too has come to know a different woman then the one he once knew. He also gave me back my love of travel.

One that was unexpected. His passion for photography reopened my world to beauty when I felt I had lost my passion for it. His photographs and his hiking abilities increased in quality every weekend we hit the trail. I will never forget that rainy hike and the little moment of zen on the rocks, it is one of my fondest memories of this year. His encouragement and sage advice on dating made the end of my year a real enjoyable learning experience, because lets face it dating sucks and I needed all the help I could get.

I am engaged to be married and could not be more pleased about it, I have quit my job and am moving to California, I am a runner, I love climbing though I am terrible at it. My world is about to change more dramatically then ever before and I cannot wait. I have the love and support of my friends and family. What more could I need? This is going to be a great year.

Happy 2009 everyone!

It's That Time Again

Here we are at the holidays, how did this happen? Well no matter its time for holiday busyness. Family and friends coming from everywhere. Oh the cookies and the food just taking up every surface. The good scotch and wine, the great company and not to mention all the chaos that comes along for the ride. Its a great time of year.

I am happy to report that my Christmas was wonderful and I could not have asked for a better family or group of friends. Thanks to everyone that made my Christmas so wonderful!

The Frozen Awesome

Ok so most people don't find the weather to be awesome, but most people don't live in a place that gets as cold as it does here in the winter. Last week here in Colorado it was so cold it made the skin on my body hurt to be outside without protection. I am a cold weather woman. I can stand most cold and it does get quite cold here, but on the days when the temp reaches 45f or 50f degrees in the dead of winter it feels like spring.

Watching people do their holiday shopping in such weather is something to behold all wrapped up in their warmest gear, loaded down with bags and boxes, children skipping and singing to the Christmas music, and the sparkling lights like fairies that have stopped for a rest in the treas. People most of the time don't tend to mind the cold while getting into the holiday spirit, but when the thermometer dips below zero its a whole other story. Most people like myself don't even want to go out of doors when the weather becomes so brutal, but when you do its a whole other world at that temperature.

Stepping outside with multiple layers covering every section of exposed skin the air bites into my unprepared lungs like knives in my chest. The soft tissue in my nose is screaming to go back inside, but my soul is free in such a place. There is no one out, everything is white from the new snow fall and there is a quiet calm that is blanketing everything, I embrace the cold creeping into my clothes. I walk around the block and my solitude is uninterrupted. The snow is so cold it squeaks under foot. The world is mine as I turn the corner to walk towards the lake.

Inspiration

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

The Weekly Awesome

It was a great week in California, but to be honest there was no contest as to what would make the Weekly Awesome. The most beautiful day of adventure, hiking, and breath taking beauty was by far and away the 26th, the day before Thanksgiving.

We arrived at the campground late, having dinner in the moonless and chilly night I went to bed with the anticipation of the dark landscape before me. A broad grin spread across Tim's face as he unzipped the tent and bid me welcome to the redwoods. The morning light revealing the redwoods to me through the fog that just fell short of reaching the tree tops. They were a towering presence in the late morning light. We got out of the tent and began the happy task of breakfast. After a breakfast of granola and hot tea we packed it in and set off on the day's hike, eight miles though the redwoods down into Fern Canyon and finishing off on Golds Bluff beaches.
As we began to descend into the forest I felt as if I had stepped into a fairy tale where friendly dwarves and terrifying ogres could be anywhere. The sound of all human activity was swallowed up by those great trees and deadened by the sound absorbing moss that covered every surface. The impossibly huge trees drip with moss, ferns and huge clovers carpeted the forest floor, and everywhere there were rotting carcasses of these ancient giants being gutted by nothing more sinister than a myriad of fun loving and colorful fungi. This forest is not just alive it's life is covered in more life. Everything was astonishingly green and damp. At one point I turned a corner and was wondering if the Brothers Grimm were lurking about thinking of their next tale of horror.
After a pleasant hike through the forest we descended even farther into a river bed that had a small and chatty stream flowing through it. The walls were over three meters high and every available space was covered in ferns. With the trees enclosing us there was as little light here as there had been in the forest. Crossing on logs placed by those before us we crossed this strange and beautiful place. There was no escaping the water though. Tim decided he was wet enough and didn't bother and I tried and failed at staying dry. Coming out of the ravine we broke through the trees and could hear the Pacific rushing in and out and the sea birds calling us to the shore.

We crossed the marsh that divided the forest and the beach. Then onto the dunes with enough time to eat, talk, take some excellent pictures of the cliffs lined with the redwood forest, and watch the sun set over the ocean. It was the best day I believe I have ever had. Never have I felt so profoundly.

For all of you that are wondering, yes we hiked back in the dark enchanted forest and we did not run into one witch. I was a bit disappointed about that.

Pictures courtesy of Tim. He loves that camera.

The City

Is it required that all cities have strange art?

Silly Sea Lions

Creepy Spider by the Bay Bridge.

Alcatraz, I didn't go there.

San Francisco

It was a hazy day in San Fransisco as I walked the boardwalks and sidewalks. I had a great tuna fish sandwich for breakfast, then lunch in the park with a good friend, and after all that walking, taking it all in, and coffee it was time for dinner with said friend in this little night cafe. It was a beautiful and fun day. Here are a few pictures for you. I am not a photographer or artist so you will have to excuse the snapshots.

Black Coffee

My favorite mug with just simple black coffee in it sits unassuming on my desk. A sight for groggy eyes. I pick it up, the deep rich color warming my soul as the hot mug warms my hands on a chilly clear winter morning. Holding it close to my face with both hands I close my eyes and breath in the familiar aroma of the bitter dark brew. I take a slow sip and feel it warm my chest. I sigh into the darkness swirling around below me. Its going to be a good day.

Retro Awesome (pictures coming soon)

So, last week in California I did so many awesome things it will be hard to pick just one, but for now I want to tell you about my awesome from the week before. I could not post it because it was a gift and the person in question would have read about it. Would have ruined the surprise and let me tell you I believe he was surprised.

It all started years ago. I like giving gifts that are meaningful to me and the other person. I believe that each gift says something abut how I feel for the person and what they mean to me. Cost is no object, within reason, and I do love to give things I know to be of use. This brings us to my friends who are these annoying people that have everything. I agonize each year what to get them for birthdays and holidays. This particular gift took months of planning and work, but really it was years in the making.

I know Tim (the gift was for him) to have everything and he loves to travel. He told me that he would love a compass, but it needed to have meaning and life. So, I went looking, but to no avail. For months I would send him pictures of compasses that I thought he would love, but he did not.

Then one day there it was he showed me the one he liked and I jumped at it. I kept bidding on it till it was mine. Then it was shipped all the way from India. It's well over 100 years old this compass and has a poem on the inside of the lid. The green jeweled pointer makes me happy looking at it and it points North! I had the back inscribed with a little personal message. I know that it might seem strange to have an antique compass engraved in French (thanks Chris), but its me we are talking about here.

I gave it to him almost the moment I stepped off the plane. I could barley contain myself really. Then he opened it and I am happy to report that he loved it! He told me it was the best gift he has received! I cannot tell you how that touched my heart. The way he loves it. It will find good use in his hands and as with all my gifts it will be a little reminder of my quirky personality every time he uses it.

The engraving says: “Pour mon escargot nomade. Puisse cette boussole te guider toujours vers tes prochaines aventures.
Amour, toujours,
Heather”

Translated: “For my traveling snail. May this compass always point the way to your
next adventure.
Love Always,
Heather”

A Moment of Zen

All the world was bathed in the warm glow of golden orange as the frost of the evening whipped through my hair. The mountains in the back drop are silhouetted by pink edged wispy clouds, only the high mountain peak winds can produce clouds like this, and the sky is so blue I have chills, but perhaps its the cold wind beginning to bite at the backs of my hands. I glove up and zip up to contain the heat still left in my inner layers. The water below me is clear and chatty as it descends the high mountains behind me. They are so powerful and breathtaking in the dieing light. It makes my heart race to look at them. I look up at the snow that lives on the peaks year round and it is swirling around in a ballet of shimmering white in the last of the sunlight. I take in one more deep breath of crisp mountain air, pull on my hat, and start down the rocky slop before me.

Mr. Hawks Would be Proud

I pricked my finger for science, twice even. In Biology lab last night we did some blood tests to find out what our blood types were. As we are working on genetics it was interesting in that way that we had no knowledge of our parents or grandparents blood types to workout our type linage for such a lab and well why should we? *scoff* Not like that's important to genetic heredity.

Anyway, moving on. We had to use a device slightly larger than what a diabetic would use with their test strips and sugar monitor. It is a small cylindrical device that gets loaded with a fine needle at the tip which sinks in so the needle is not exposed. There is a dial on the side which you set to a specific dept in the skin to puncture far enough to get a decent blood sample. Most went with 3, I like to live dangerously so I set mine to 4. This did turn out to be a better idea as most people in class had to prick themselves multiple times to extract enough blood. I only had to prick myself twice.

As my class mates winced and moaned like they might die, some of them refused to do it all together, I placed a few drops each into the alloted slots in the little plastic tray before me. The blood then was mixed with “reagents” (a term that I find science teachers use when they are at a loss for explanation of the chemicals you are handling) to produce something that I myself, nor most class members, could not discern as positive or negative for any type whatsoever. If this was the way of testing for blood types in hospitals the accuracy of this would produce tremendous amounts of concern and most blood transfusions would result in death. I myself am either A negative or B negative.

Though I am not entirely sure what this little exercise was about I can say it was the most entertaining lab I have ever done. Just watching all my classmates act like this was the worst possible thing that could happen to them. Then thinking of all the diabetics I know who do this five times a day on average just makes me giggle a little bit to see the guys in class wince and whine like little girls.

The Weekly Awesome: Adding Insult to Injury

This is a tongue in cheek entry as I was going to talk about how awesome my weekend was and all the cool projects I got done. However, Sunday to Monday, just 24 little hours changed what I was going to write about.

My weekend, uneventful till I decide to go out to my car at 10pm on Sunday. I had been home all weekend and seen very few people, we all need peace at one time or another and this was my time. I couldn't sleep so I thought I would take a drive, clear my head and perhaps get some ice cream. I throw my old jeans on with a fleece that is looking quite disreputable these days, put on my sneakers and I was off. Up the stairs, out the front door. Then I start to step down the front stoop (a small 9” step mind you) when my right ankle twists under me at an almost 90 degree angle and it makes the most sickening sound I have ever heard. Its what you would hear if you stepped on a small bag of dry kindling. In hopes I will not make it to the ground I double over in pain on the car in the drive way trying to gain purchase with my trembling hands without dropping my keys and mobile. The pain is all consuming, there is a sick sinking feeling that only pain can bring on increasing in my stomach. If the car had not been there I would have found myself on the cold evening pavement like a discarded fish.

Hobbling back inside my thoughts of a drive evacuated from my mind all together from the searing pain that is sending phantom signals strait up my right side. I get some ice and ibuprofen, take off my shoes and socks to asses the damage. The pain increases sharply for a moment as I slide the sock off to see that it is swelling and there is the presents of a bruise beginning to form. I take the ibuprofen, slide back into bed, gingerly elevating my right foot and rest the ice on the ankle in question.

I spend the next two days (Monday and Tuesday) with my foot elevated and a full regiment of anti inflammatories. Ice; check, ibuprofen; check, tea; check, movies; check. I watch as my ankle swells larger and darkens in color. Then it happens. On I wake up Tuesday examine my ankle once more and realize that my throat is sore and my head hurts. I come to the realization; I have a head cold developing.

Stuffy, headache, ankle a lovely shade of green and still a bit swollen, a cough developing, tissues at the ready, exhausted from tossing all night in pain and stuffiness, (the fever subsided yesterday afternoon) with peppermint tea steaming beside me. I sit here writing this out for you. Next week has got to be better.

A Moment Of Serenity

I have been spending more time alone as of late becoming at peace with being single. Peace, I could use more of that. I think I will grab my new book, sit under this tree and take in the crisp Autumn air with a steaming hot cup of tea.

Something that gives me pause:

"Inner Peace can be as simple as letting go, and resting under the shade of an old tree. In the end: the path taken to find inner peace is as hard or simple as a person makes the journey of self acceptance to be."

A Weekend of Awesome

So many awesome things happened to me this weekend. I went out for the first time as a single women on Halloween, it was weird, but I looked great and so did everyone around me. There were some really great Hunter S. Thompson's and one who did such a fantastic job I just had to tell him. I am always impressed when people pull off something really witty like that.

Saturday was nice and chill as I took my co-worker to DIA after his big week here in Colorado. Went home took a nap, ran some errands, and then back home for the night to chill out and work on my latest project. There was also this great hike with a friend of mine from Denver and two of his friends from work in Boulder on Sunday. The day finished off with good beers and good food with the guys. Then back home to my project. I will have to tell you about the project in another entry as its not done yet.

Zen Koans

Muddy Road

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl" said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

Life, Love, and The Pursuit of Coffee

I hold a hot to go cup in my hands to keep them warm as the morning chill is trying to crush my gungho spirit for walking back to work. There is no reason for this, I own a car. I could be driving. It has nothing to do with physical fitness, I go to the gym three days a week. No, it has to do with being outside. Need to be outside. Need fresh air and to see people around me doing what their mornings entail. I sit shut at a desk all day long doing tech support and helping people understand Linux. Then in a classroom for most of the evening. Then go to the gym where I put my head phones on, shut all people out to get a bit of peace while I run. Lets just say I don't have too many opportunities to just watch people be people.

Its a short walk from my office to this little cafe. This little home away from home when I am in need of silence, something hot to hold onto, and a way of being social. I have friends, family, and co-workers. All of whom are interesting and wonderful people in their own right, but lets face it, sometimes you just need to talk to a stranger and get a new perspective. That being said I didn't talk to anyone. Just said hello to the cafe owner and walked back to the office.

I love the onset of winter.

I Am In Love

The cool fragrant air of decay is beginning to creep into my room at night. The Aspen leaves changing to hues of yellow, red, and brilliant shimmering gold twisting off the new branches of summer as they draw all their strength in for the long Colorado winter months. The sounds of those leaves crunching below my feet, crackling down the side walks, and gently sliding to the ground with a soft crinkle are all things that I associate with Autumn. Fields of the summer sunflowers hanging their heads in shame to see such breathtaking beauty. I see pumpkins everywhere and I can smell the spices of the season; nutmeg, cinnamon, cardamom, and the ever present peppermint.

There is nothing like a hot cup of peppermint tea warming my hands while leaning against an almost bare tree where the sky opens up above me and the breeze whispers of magic. There are people in new coats wrapped in scarves and woolen hats. Everyone wrapped in comfort and warmth as I watch them rush here and there from my vantage point of peace and solitude.

The Weekly Awesome

I will be posting what I believe to be one of the most awesome moments in my week each week. It will range in different types of awesome from a great movie to a different country to an experience that I deem worth of awesomeness. So, this first post will not be the Gold Standard of awesome (there is no Gold Standard if you were wondering), but it is as I am always, awesome.

The morning sun rising over the Rockies in my kitchen window as I hastily put my hydration pack together while sipping down a protein shake wanting coffee, but knowing this will be better in the long run. Coat; check, water proof gear; check, Cliff bars; check, water; check, Tang, double check. Ok , everything is in order. I sling the pack over my shoulder grab my keys, gulp down the last of the shake, and run out the door. Its 8:30am.

I arrive at my friends place, 9am, she is active, but has told me she doesn't hike much and I will have to “take it easy” on her. Well in the end this turns out to be a gross mis estimate of her abilities. After a quick cup of coffee at her place while she gets her pack ready we jump into her boyfriends car. He will be running the trail that we will be hiking, sick; I know.

After taking the scenic rout on the way to 287 we finally break through the first walls of the canyon and the Poudre is snaking below us in its quite, powerful unassuming way. The canyon is beautiful this morning. It is without haze and the waters of the river are clear and flowing with a few fishermen here and there left in the Autumn before it freezes over. We will be doing one of the most popular trails of the area and the reason is clear, its the most beautiful I have ever found in this canyon.

Grey Rock is about eight miles round trip, but in parts it can feel like more as the incline at the top is challenging for many. It takes about two hours for me to reach the summit on my own, but my hiking companion has told me she is not going to be fast so I estimate it will take about three hours. As we reached the scrabble to the top there was a man and his dog who had gotten lost at least once already, an easy thing to do as the trail is difficult to discern if you have not done it before, this will be my fifth time summiting this year. He accompanied us on our way up. A mutually beneficial endevour as he is interesting and fun to talk to. He tells us of his work, OR nurse, and of his travels of hiking, climbing, and diving. I recommend a 14ner or two and we reached the summit easily in about two hours with a few stops along the way.

The view from the top is amazing. The clear bright sun streaming down from an almost cloudless sky. We linger there looking at the peaks around us as the gale force winds try to unseat us from the mountain. The nurses dog being a Boston terrier hiding in the shelter it can find from the cold push of the weather. We take a few pictures, say our good bye's to the nurse, and head down as fast as we can. We saw boyfriend running down the home stretch as we were going up and know he must be either in the car or almost there by now.

Making it down in record time, one hour and twenty minutes, we reach the car to find boyfriend sunning himself in the Subaru listening/napping to NPR, he has been there almost an hour, again;sick I know. As for my new hiking partner she had not given her abilities enough credit, we did it all told in under four hours with stops for rest, food, and time with an old friend of hers we ran into. Ahh, what a great way to spend a Saturday. Now time for food and a shower.

I contrive to seem uncontrived.

Well its happened. I have decided to start a little blog. I have tried FaceBook and find I don't much like it. So, here I am in need of a way for perfect strangers to check out my life. Not strangers as such, but I am sure there will be a few that stop in every now and again.